Real life.

On Tuesday I blogged about something real that was happening in my life and shared more emotions than normal. In the wake of the tornado that ravaged through my state, I felt compelled to take a break from my normal posts about make-up, clothes, or food. Not that I don't love writing about and sharing fun things on this blog, but sometimes, especially this week, the need to be a little more real just feels right.
When people ask me about my blog, I quickly assure them that it isn't a personal blog where I write about my feelings or what happened to me that day (that was what my Xanga was for). I have never felt comfortable sharing too much about my personal life on this blog. While you might get glimpses here and there, for the most part, I stay hidden. But recently I have been wanting to share more and just give you all a quick update on me and what has been going on in my twenty-three year old life.

I thought I had it all figured out. Seriously, I thought I knew exactly what I would be doing after college graduation. There had never been a doubt in my mind (since age six) that I would be an elementary school teacher. All I talked about was being a teacher, did everything I could growing up to help that dream come true, and then went to school to study how to be just that. Well gosh, what a surprise one year ago (almost to the date) when I realized that at some point I had started lying when people asked me if I was excited to finally be a real teacher. I wasn't excited anymore and I started dabbling in the idea of doing something entirely different with my life. What caused this huge change in heart is probably a combination of things, but I think mostly it's because I grew up and as you grow up, you change your mind and I am just finally beginning to realize that it's okay to change your mind. I have come to realize that it is probably healthy to change your mind and not want exactly what you wanted when you were six years old. 

Let's fast forward to five months after college graduation and still with no real job. I thought that I would have no trouble finding a great job and yet I was still spending too much time on my couch watching the food network, gaining weight from all the food I was making from the recipes I saw on the food network. After graduation I realized that I was back at square one; I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do and that makes it quite difficult to find a job. I could go on and on about all the job interviews I have had in the last five months, about all the "Now Hiring" signs I have seriously thought about inquiring about (Sonic, Lowe's, Whole Foods), and about all the times I have broken down in tears, feeling like a lazy failure and disappointment. Had I really just gone to college for 4 1/2 years for a wasted degree?

Through a crazy series of events, I realized my time in college wasn't wasted, in fact my degree was actually going to come in handy. Making this story as short as possible, I began teaching fitness classes...pause for shock/hysterical laughter. Me, teaching fitness classes? The girl who cries at the thought of going to the gym and considers walking up the flight of stairs with groceries her workout for the week is teaching fitness classes? Well it happened, like a said through a crazy series of events and I couldn't be happier that those events happened because through those events, one great mentor, lots of encouragement, and kick-butt training I am teaching at Barre 3 and loving every minute of it. I am using my love of dance plus my passion for people plus that expensive teaching degree and trying to be the best instructor possible. 

On top of teaching at Barre 3, I accepted my first big-girl, full time job last week! I won't go in to the job description and details now, but I can tell you that I am so excited. Excited about the company, the people, and the chance to learn while doing something so different than I ever imagined. It has been a long process and the five months after college graduation were entirely different than I ever imagined them to be. In those five months I did a lot of deep cleaning, too many craft projects, tried out countless new recipes, was a runway model for a day, a dog-sitter, had numerous lunch dates with my mom, numerous "serious talks about my future" with my dad, and numerous soul-searching sessions with myself. So what I have learned in the last five months would take up an entire other blog post and that is almost getting too personal; bring over a bottle of wine and I will tell you all about it. The biggest thing I have learned is that it is okay to change your mind. I am glad that I did because I am getting to do things that I never would have if I hadn't changed my mind. 

So forgive me for the long post and thank you for bearing with me during this unusual spill about my life. Like I always say, some things in life are too sweet not to be shared, and right now I feel like my life is pretty sweet. 

I love sharing with you.  

1 comment:

  1. I just love you so much and miss you terribly. So happy that you are happy. Things never end up the way you think they will, but if all else fails, we can be professional star spinners for life. Love you friend! KB


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